Ramblings - On the finality of existence

Their blissful ignorance of the finality of existence was short-lived. Once revealed, it had a looming and all consuming presence over their childhood. Strident noises or silence in the dead of night were perceived as the harbingers of death. They were left petrified, short of breath, unable to sleep, starring into nothingness, paralyzed by the future loss of loved ones and the perspective of non-existence.

Wanting to find solace against impending doom, they dived into books for an answer. Stumbling upon the epic of Gilgamesh, they recognized the raw emotions the protagonist felt after the downfall of Enkidu, followed by the great lengths and sacrifices one would go through for a reversal of events. The conclusion was apparent: To vanquish death is to achieve immortality.

They entertained the idea of being born at the right time in history, one of new enlightenment where progress would soon lead to the demise of death itself. What an obvious fantasy and complete disillusion. With no solution on the horizon they found a meager way to not fully plummet into oblivion. Using their built-in drive to be the best at their craft they hoped to be remembered by History.

Not long after they took part in some highly risky behaviours. In several occasions tempted fate, escaped unscathed, played chess with death and won. Wandering when their luck would run out and their arrogance punished.

Later, as did Gilgamesh, they reluctantly admitted defeat in a battle in which they were powerless. A loosing one inherent to the human condition where loss can only be soften by accepting the absurd and meaningless nature of the fight.

Nowadays their feelings are not as debilitating, even if the underlying sensation of living on borrowed time is still palpable. With the occasional feeling of being trap in a in-between state, not knowing in which world they belong to and a sense of guilt for abandoning the departed.

They are not looking to be remembered anymore. They simply choose to focus on their unassuming life, their actions and the imprint they can leave around them. They strive to bring a meaningful contribution to humanity even if only for a brief moment.

After the adjudication of the Moirai the thread will come to an end. At that time, they wish to admire their life tapestry, the important peoples and events woven into it and reminisce with their loved ones one last time before vanishing.